Went for training today.. played like I've picked up the sport a couple of hours ago. With all the competitions coming up.. I'm starting to feel the crunch.. expectations from others and most importantly, myself.
She keeps telling me I put too much pressure on myself - I don't deny that.. guess its just part of my character to do just that; setting high expectations to spur meself.. Doesn't turn out dandy always.. often it backfires and I feel the heat - unnecessary heat..
But I think.. Will I be able to keep up? New players are coming in, old players are improving.. I feel like my skills have remained stagnant for all this time.. I'm like a "spur of the moment" player; when I'm good, I'm great.. But when I'm bad... I fall rock bottom. Gone is the haughtiness I carry with every good shot which should come so easily, to be replaced by impending doom, and the knowledge of the improbability to do well for the next shot..
Let's hope this is just a one off incident.. I know I can play.. I've done it so many times before.. So why didn't I even play decently today?
Screw this for today.. I'm going to bed.. Duty tomorrow, gotta wake early..
"A minute to learn, A lifetime to master." When will that mastery finally be in clear view?
Welcome.
WANHIN Nurse.
25/11/1985.
Everything is gonna be alright. (Really?)
"Which would you prefer,
My finger on the trigger or,
Me face down across your floor?"
Tuesday, 14 February 2006 
WANHIN